Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

August Stuff

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Time to look back at my performance over the last month. (I took July as my month off per McKoala’s rules because I completely hosed it in July. :P ) August wasn’t very good either, but I’ve done worse.

3 submissions — 3 points
7533 words written — 2 points (less than 500 short of a third point, argh!)

Total = 5 points

Koala Challenge 5

I think part of what’s hitting me now is that I have a few stories that’ve been circulating, but I’ve hit all the fast turn-around markets and now I’m stuck with some of the slowpokes. I have a story at one magazine that closed to fiction submissions in July, but I sent in my story in April. So it’s been there for about four and a half months and I’m just hoping they’re working through their slush pile backlog. I suppose if they open up again and I still haven’t heard from them, that’ll be a clue that something went astray, right? :P

I still need to do more writing, though. As awful as this month was, it was still better than any other month so far this year, so that’s progress. Let’s see if I can keep it up.

I hope everyone else is doing better than I am. :)

Angie

What’s Talent Got To Do With It?

Friday, August 27th, 2010

Charles has a thought-provoking post over at Novel Spaces today, entitled “Two Kinds of Writers.” For those who don’t know him, Charles Gramlich is a psychology professor. His department had a speaker at their first faculty meeting of the school year, a social psychologist named Jeff Howard. To give you the gist:

First, Howard suggested that there are two kinds of people in the world: “Performance Oriented” and “Learning Oriented.” Performance Oriented (PO) folks come into every new situation looking to “prove” something to themselves and others. Generally, that means ‘proving’ that they are smart and capable. Thus, PO writers want to show others and themselves how smart they are in their work. PO individuals also tend to believe that writing is a “talent” rather than a learned craft, and PO folks tend to believe that if something requires a lot of “effort,” then that reveals less “talent.”

Learning Oriented (LO) folks come into new situations looking to improve themselves. Their main goal is to learn “how” to do a particular thing, and they don’t doubt their ability to learn that material. LO folks believe that “effort” controls outcome and is the key to success. They don’t equate less effort with a sign of greater talent.

There’s more, but that’s enough for my own jumping off point. I recommend clicking through and reading Charles’s whole post, though.

I left a brief comment, but I didn’t want to spend however many hundred words talking about my own experiences on someone else’s blog. The PO vs. LO dichotomy resonated with me, though.

I’m really smart, for whatever good it’s done me. I have a low-genius level IQ, and I was in enrichment programs for gifted children ever since I was tested, during the summer between first and second grades. I was in the highest level groups for things like math and reading, and I’m usually pretty quick on the uptake in general. Despite all this, though, I didn’t learn all my multiplication tables until seventh grade. For reference, when I was a kid — and possibly still today, although I don’t know for sure — multiplication was introduced (if the class or group got that far in the book) toward the end of second grade. Kids were expected to learn the multiplication tables up through twelves in third grade. After that, they just assume you knew it and moved on. So it took me an extra four or five years to cram this stuff into my head.

My childhood was all about how smart I was. I was so intelligent, so gifted! School would be so easy for me if I’d only try! Which leads to the next conclusion — if you’re smart (or talented) and you try something and fail, then obviously you’re lazy. You’re not really trying. Why don’t you want to do this? Why aren’t you trying?

When I was in fourth grade, my mom tried to “help” me learn my multiplication tables. She made me a set of flashcards and said that I’d study them — doing nothing else with my free time — until I had them down. I had to learn 1-3 the first day, 4-6 the second day, etc. Anything I failed to learn one day would be tacked on to the next day. She was convinced that if I’d just buckle down and concentrate, this would be quick and easy and I’d have all the tables learned within four days. There you go, problem solved.

What actually happened was that I got good at hiding from my mom, until she finally gave up. I did work with the cards for the first two or three days, but results were neither quick nor easy, and by the third day I had so much piled up it was ridiculous. Aside from the fact that long, drawn-out memorization sessions don’t work, this really wasn’t the way to convince a frustrated nine-year-old that school was supposed to be fun. I eventually realized, some time in seventh grade, that I hadn’t had to look up or work out a multiplication fact in a while, probably a couple of months. I’d finally learned them through mental osmosis, just by using them in math classes over and over for years; use and repetition finally did what deliberate effort had failed to do.

I had more and more trouble in school as time went on. I got a 1420 on my SAT (well before they made the test easier) but graduated high school with a 2.65 GPA, which was pretty disgraceful for someone with my IQ and test scores.

I finally figured out many years later, about five years into a two-year associate degree, that I have a learning disability. I realized what all the hard stuff had in common, and what was different about the easy stuff, and realized the difference was rote memorization. If the point of a lesson is concepts — what happened and why and what the results were, how something came about, how things hang together, what’s related and what’s different and why — I can listen to a lecture or read a book, and that’s it, I know it, hand me the exam. Information on a conceptual level, where everything hangs together in a logical framework, makes instinctive sense to me, and sticks easily in my brain. If the point is memorization, though — names and dates and figures, mathematical and scientific formulas, foreign language vocabulary, all the little bits and pieces you have to Just Memorize — then forget it, no more than a tiny fraction is going to stick.

As an example, I was taking Analytical Geometry in college, and we were doing a chapter on conic sections. I’d studied conic sections at least five or six times before, in other math classes, but except for the line and the parabola (which were introduced the earliest, in 7th and 8th grade in my case) I’d never managed to memorize the formulas. I knew the definitions, though. So I was sitting there staring at an exam where we were given certain data — say, the center of a circle and the slope of a line tangent to it — and had to figure out certain other data — say, the circumference of the circle. If you know the formulas, it’s easy; you plug the givens in and the answers come out. If you don’t know the formulas, you either give up or you do it the hard way. I did it the hard way. I didn’t remember the formulas, but I did remember the definitions of the sections. A circle is defined by its center and radius. Stick a pin in your paper at the center. Tie a string to the pin. Tie a pencil to the string such that the length between the pin and the pencil is the length of the radius. Everywhere the pencil can touch (while held vertically) is your circle. A line tangent to the circle is always going to be perpendicular to the radius between the center and that point on the circle, so knowing that tangent line and the center gives you the point on the circle. With the center and that point, the you have the length of the radius. The circumference is 2*pi*r. I did basically that for all the problems about circles, ellipses and hyperbolas, essentially re-deriving all the equations on my scratch paper, based on the definitions of the sections. I got a hundred percent on the exam, but I was also the last person to turn in my paper.

I had horrible study habits because of my memory issues, although I didn’t know why I was developing them while it happened. If something made sense to me, though, then listening to the teacher explain it was enough. I got it right then, and doing homework, working exercises, whatever, was a pointless waste of time. But if I didn’t get it, if I needed to memorize things, including formulas or a sequence of problem solving steps which didn’t fall into logical place in my head, then doing the homework wouldn’t help. I’d be just as clueless after I finished the exercises as I’d been before, so again, it was a pointless waste of time.

It took until I was in my twenties, though, to figure this out. I’d never thought about it before; I’d bought into the idea that there was something wrong with me, that I was lazy. I knew I was trying hard, but I still didn’t get the results my mom and my teachers expected. I was frustrated and angry; there was something wrong but I didn’t know what. It wasn’t until I took a mental step back and sorted out classes I got easy As in from classes where I barely passed, that I saw it.

No one else did. No one, not my mother nor any of my teachers — one of whom had me in both third and fifth grade — figured out what the problem was, where the dividing line ran. Everyone was so caught up in “Angela is so smart!” “It’d be so easy if she’d only try!” that it never occurred to them to look for an actual problem. My third/fifth grade teacher actually called me “the absent-minded professor” but it still didn’t click for her. They were so invested in the talent idea that an actual learning issue was unthinkable. The test scores said I had the talent to do well in school, therefore I should, and if I didn’t it was my own fault. The concept that I might have a high IQ and a learning disability never occurred to any of them. Nope, much easier to just assume the whole problem was me being lazy.

Charles again:

A key difference between PO and LO folks shows up when a “failure” occurs. Say the writer approaches a major magazine publisher with a story and gets rejected out of hand. PO individuals take the failure as a sign of lack of talent, and often develop a sense of helplessness, which leads them to either quit writing or to lower their sights.

Yep, that’s me. My entire identity when I was young centered on being a smart kid. It was essentially the only thing I was ever praised for, so that’s what I focused on. And as a smart person, obviously things should be easy. If I tried something and failed, I turned away from it and tried something else, because failure is particularly shameful when you’re supposed to be smart. Anything I couldn’t get right off, I just didn’t do. Except for school, because I was told over and over and over that I should be good at it, that I should love it, that it should be easy for me. It was always assumed that I’d go to college and do something intellectual because that’s where my talent was, so I kept beating my head against that particular wall, long after I’d have given up on anything else. It was all just supposed to click for me, and I kept trying, and waiting for that click.

I’ve always been interested in writing, and I’ve scribbled stories (or more often, fragments of stories) since I was six or seven. When I was fifteen I submitted a story to Family Circle magazine. It was a horrible, treacly piece of garbage, and the editors quite rightly rejected it with a fifth-generation xeroxed form. It was seventeen years before I submitted anything else.

I had the drive to write and didn’t quit, although I had long periods of hiatus when I was doing other things — things I was more successful at right off. I’ve always come back to writing, but it took a very long time before I finally realized and accepted that I wasn’t very good at it yet (there being a huge difference between being better than most of my peers and being good), but that I could study and learn and get better. It seems obvious now, and I’m sure any number of readers are eyerolling and thinking what an idiot I was, but if you’re raised on the theory of talent, the idea of needing to work and study and learn and do a lot of failing while you slowly improve isn’t at all obvious.

We’ve all heard about the “overnight sensations” who actually worked for ten or twenty years to get there, about the bestselling “first novels” that were actually tenth novels with the previous nine unsold in the trunk, but we still praise people for their talent. Maybe it’s ego protection, the thought that if someone who’s successful is talented — and therefore their success came easily to them — if we’re not similarly successful then it’s because we don’t have that talent, that advantage. And that’s not our fault, right? In that situation, talent almost feels like a cheat, something to resent as much as envy.

Whatever it is, our culture idolizes talent, assuming it trumps everything else, including work, study, perseverance and even luck. “You’re so talented!” is thought to be praise, even if it comes with a bit of envy or resentment. Emphasizing talent denies the work, though, the determination and study and slow improvement everyone needs in order to succeed, no matter how talented they might be. Assuming “talent” actually exists. In my case, the emphasis on talent when I was young was certainly damaging, more than cancelling out any advantage that talent — the “smart kid” factor — might have given me.

Angie

The Most Awesome Settings

Monday, July 12th, 2010

…are right here on Earth. Check this out:

Pamukkale, Turkey

Calcium carbonate spills coming from thermal springs under the mountain have formed a series of spectacular and beautiful pools.

Most science fiction and fantasy writers can’t come up with anything anywhere near as awesome or creative as this for their settings. I know I never have, and I can’t think of anything I’ve read that came even close, leaving out the spectacular-engineering type SF books, such as Ringworld. For natural wonders, though, whether set here on Earth or on an alien planet or in a magic-filled fantasy world, nothing can match mundane Nature.

Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t be trying. :)

Angie

Great Comic About the Creative Process

Friday, July 9th, 2010

Thanks to Nagasvoice over on LJ for linking to THIS COMIC. You’ll probably want to blow up your browser window to take up your whole screen; I did and still had to scroll a bit, but it’s worth it.

I have to admit I recognize far too much of this. [wry smile] The tangled loops of overthinking, for example. And I wish there were a handly station for filling up on motivation and ambition. I think I have enough pride, thanks anyway; the trick is producing enough output to be proud of. [laugh/flail]

Where do you get stuck along the route…?

Angie

June Stuff

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Another awful writing month. This feels like 2008, which is very depressing. :/ I didn’t manage to pull that year out of the bucket until October; hopefully I’ll get it together sooner than that this time around. [crossed fingers]

On the good side, I did a lot of other stuff, so at least something is progressing:

5 story submissions = 5
21K words editing = 4
story synopsis = 1

10 pts, yay!

Koala Challenge 9

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Publishers (But were Afraid to Ask)

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Josh Lanyon did a guest post on Jessewave’s blog as part of her “Ins and Outs of M/M Romance” series, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Publishers (But were Afraid to Ask). Josh Lanyon is one of the best known voices of m/m fiction, for the Adrien English series among other great books, as well as the author of Man, Oh Man! Writing M/M Fiction for Kinks and Cash, which I have and which has a lot of great info.

As Josh says right off, Before we delve into what to look for in a publishing partner — and what to avoid — I want to point out that this post relates to niche publishing with small and indie presses. Much of what I’m discussing here is a non-issue in mainstream publishing. Running Press and Carina aside, m/m is still dominated by small presses and niche publishers, so that’s where the focus of the article is. That said, most of what Josh talks about is something even folks aiming at New York should at least be aware of.

Lots of good stuff here, and I’m not just saying that because she quoted me. [duck] Seriously, check it out.

Angie

Sale and Misc.

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Torquere’s Having a Sale — use the code beach2010 to get 15% off on any purchase between now and Midnight (EST) on Tuesday. Torquere is here, or go here for my page on the site.

Vampire Bunnies — what is it with vampire writers in the last however many years deciding that a vampire’s fangs are his or her incisors? o_O Whenever I read about a vampire’s sharpened incisors extending, or whatever, I have to laugh — I get this mental image of a psychotic Bugs Bunny or an undead beaver something. Definitely not the image most writers seem to be going for. [snicker]

How to Keep Someone With You Forever — gakked through Nagasvoice over on LiveJournal, Issendai posted this piece on how to keep people from leaving you, whether “you” is an individual in a personal relationship, or a company trying to hold on to its employees. A good subtitle would be “How to Create a Sick System.” This is important reading for anyone who might be caught up in a sick system, or who has a loved one who’s stuck in a sick system. But it’s also fascinating as a writer who might want to put a character into an emotionally poisonous situation some time. This is fascinatingly awful, and the fact that it’s real just makes it moreso.

Angie

April Stuff

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

Lousy month for new writing, but an excellent month for dinking around with not-quite-there stories and getting them out the door. I always have a pile of WIPs on my hard drive; sometimes I go weeks or months without finishing anything, and sometimes I get a bunch polished up all at once. It’s sort of like biorhythms that way. :) Last month I got four submissions out, which is more than I’ve done in one month in an amazingly long time, so that’s cool.

I also got my marketing/admin doc for A Hidden Magic done and submitted, including several versions of a synopsis, at various lengths for various purposes. I’m counting that as a “synopsis” point, but I’m not counting the various bouts of sandpapering I did on the stories as “editing” because I don’t know how to handle the wordcount on that. Does editing a 5500 word story equal 5500 words of editing, or does deleting 100 words equal 100 words of editing, or does dinking with a 258-word paragraph to turn it eventually into a 261-word paragraph equal three words of editing, or what…? No clue what McKoala’s final verdict will be (and the Koala is absent until next week so I won’t find out for a while) but I’m ignoring the whole editing thing and tentatively awarding myself five points.

Koala Challenge 5

I’ve also submitted to a couple of markets recently (Clarkesworld and Strange Horizons) where they have a form on their web site you fill out with your name, story title, cover letter info, etc., and then you upload the story right to their site, rather than e-mailing it. It feels a bit odd, but it works, so what the heck. I remember scoffing at this sort of thing a while back regarding a novel publisher’s site — brand new baby publisher, wanted you to copy/paste your whole novel into a box on their web site, and then click a button saying that by submitting you were assigning all rights to everything forever to the publisher [eyeroll] which made them sound rather… let’s say “inexperienced” to be kind. I’d never heard of the “upload here” thing before with a legitimate market (and still hadn’t at that point IMO) so it seemed part and parcel with the ignorance (at best) of the ridiculous rights statement. I can see this working well for shorter pieces, though (and even longer ones, to be honest, although it still feels a bit weird) and neither Clarkesworld nor Strange Horizons is going for a rights-grab, so that’s fine.

On a more personal level, I tried backing off on the ibuprofen, cutting it down from 800mg twice a day to 400 twice a day. (I was originally prescribed 800 three times a day, but after a few weeks I eliminated the middle dose without much trouble.) The stuff works fairly well, but it dissolves your liver in tiny bits, and I’ve been taking it at this level for a couple of years now. :/ I was hoping I could get along with less, maybe taking a couple extra pills when I went to the gym or something. Unfortunately 400×2 leaves me too immobile to even consider going to the gym. I tried it for a couple of weeks to see whether it was something I could get used to, but it’s not. So I’m back up to the 800×2, and the screaming in my joints is starting to quiet down a little at a time. I do need to find a doctor up here, though, and get a prescription for something else. There’s got to be something I can take for the pain and stiffness that won’t do a number on my liver, or anything else similar; it won’t do me much good to maintain my already limited mobility if it means I need a liver transplant in five or ten years. :P

Next submission will hopefully be something for Sword and Sorceress. [crossed fingers] And if anyone else is considering that market, I found that the link I posted in the last antho call is now broken; the new page is here: Sword and Sorceress 25 guidelines.

Angie

Misc. Links

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

New animals discovered in Borneo, an economist’s analysis of digital content as a public good, a professor of digital media’s thoughts about avatars for characters of color in computer games, and a really hilarious journal post.

New Animals Discovered in Borneo — I think my favorite is the stick insect, like a walking stick only a bit over half a meter long, pictured walking up the side of a guy’s head. Oh, and props to the guy, too, for having guts. :) The flame-colored snake is gorgeous, and the lungless frog makes me think about aliens for an SF story.

Why Content Is a Public Good — this is a guest post by Milena Popova on Charlie Stross’s blog. She talks about public and private goods, and rival and excludable goods, and the various combinations and how the market works (or doesn’t) to distribute or control the distribution of the various types. I’ve never seen the subject (primarily e-books and music, but also applies to movies and such) discussed from this point of view before. She starts at the beginning and explains the vocabulary for people who don’t have econ degrees. Definitely worth a read.

Chimerical Avatars and Other Identity Experiments from Prof. Fox Harrell — Prof. Harrell talks about avatars in computer games and the lack of variety available in avatar types, particularly for players of color who’d like their avatar to represent them as they are, particularly if they want a decent range of options beyond skin color. This is a familiar issue in gaming, but it also applies to books.

How often can a reader of color find a character who’s like them in mainstream genre fiction? Or a female reader in an adventure-oriented genre? Sure, we can appreciate and empathize with characters who aren’t like us, but white readers don’t have to do that very often, and never at all if they don’t want to. A series of characters who are all basically alike can give readers who are different the impression that this author or series or genre isn’t for them, and can give a writer who is different the impression that a genre doesn’t welcome their viewpoint. It benefits all of us to encourage a variety of character types in the media we consume, which (for those of us who are creators) means including a variety of character types in the media we create.

I Has a Sweet Potato by Littera-Abactor on LJ — I’m pretty sure I haven’t linked this here before, but it’s hilarious so even if I have, there’s no harm done. :D

Dog: I am starving.
Me: Actually, no. You aren’t starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.
Dog: STARVING.
Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.
Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.
Me: I am now ignoring you.
Dog: STARVING.
Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.
Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.

[There is a pause, during which the dog exits the room in a pointed manner.]

[From the kitchen, there comes a noise like someone is eating a baseball bat.]

Me, yelling: What the hell are you doing?
Me: *makes haste for the kitchen and finds dog there*
Dog: *picks up entire raw sweet potato, which is what was causing the baseball bat noise, and flees for the bedroom*
Me: *chases dog, retrieves most of sweet potato, less the portion which has disappeared into dog’s gullet*
Dog: See? STARVING.
Me: …That can’t be good for you. It’s a RAW SWEET POTATO.
Dog: I had to do it. I haven’t been fed. Ever.
Me: You realize you aren’t normal. Normal dogs don’t steal raw sweet potatoes.
Dog, sadly: I was badly brought up.
Me: Yes. Yes, you were.
Dog: By people who starved me.
Me: Oh, no. I am not doing this again.
Me: *exits the room, bearing sweet potato*

There’s more. Definitely more. :D Click through and read the whole thing.

Oh, and I got an acceptance on a story called “Unfinished Business,” which is a sequel to A Hidden Magic, yay! :D It’s short and funny and is basically erotica, picking up on something a couple of supporting characters were doing about two-thirds of the way through the book. It’s scheduled for release on 26 June, just a month after HM, which is great timing.

Angie

Rewrite and Submit

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

I’ve been dinking around with this one story story for a while now, trying to figure out why it wasn’t working. I finally figured out that it was the ending — it was going well up to the last few pages, but then I wasn’t sticking the landing. The immediate incident being told in the story was over, but there were ramifications for later on, and the protag had plans for what she was going to do in the future as opportunity and resources presented themselves.

It kind of sounded like the first chapter — or maybe the prologue — of a novel, rather than a stand-alone short. Except there really wasn’t enough pending action to support something novel length. :/ There was too much blah-blah-blah at the end, too much speculation about what the protag would do some day in response to the immediate situation. It just sort of trailed off rather than giving a firm ending. Not good. This story’s been bounced a couple of times before, and now I can see why.

I chopped off about the last thousand words and rewrote the ending. I figured out a different way the protag could respond to the situation, riskier and more immediate, but also more intense and satisfying. Hoping this one works. [crossed fingers]

Angie