There were a lot of things I loved about this story — namely the idea the story is based on. I thought it was a pretty great idea and it was showcased rather well, not only in how Glenn changes after he eats the candy and goes after what he really wants, but in the couple of little vingettes at the start of the story, which show random children and how the candy affects them. I thought the story of little Graciella, who was afraid of her big, scary dog, really cute.
The problem that I had with the story was that the two main characters, Glenn and Neal, didn’t really fit together. I have no doubt that they could if we were given more than a five or six pages of them together. The story is really about Glenn going for what he wants and ending up with a hookup, which is about all that can be told in 14 pages.
Cole’s exactly right there — I’ve never believed stories where the characters are all, “Oh, I love you!” after ten minutes of conversation and one roll in the sheets. I mean, seriously? o_O This isn’t a romance; it’s a story about how Glenn overcame his fear of making a move with Neal. I think they’ll probably work out, but showing that would be a different story. Maybe I’ll write it some day.
Thanks to Cole, and I’m glad he enjoyed it even if it wasn’t a romance. 🙂